REJECTION
Some time ago I offered one of my most highly awarded prints to someone who I felt had supported my burgeoning career as an artist. It was already printed and framed, only 1 of 9 available and I felt it would show how grateful and appreciative I was for all the help I had received.
At the time I felt that I was on a creative roll. My prints were achieving awards that I had never dreamt would be possible. People I respected were showering me with compliments. I felt ebullient and able to climb mountains.
However, the limited edition print was ultimately rejected.
I haven’t really thought about it too much lately but it’s interesting to see what the long term effects of something like this are and how it reflects on the work you do subsequently. Feeling tied up trying to prove that my photographs are worthy of the title ‘art’ is crippling any creative and artistic process which is ultimately quite ironic really.
Chasing rainbows! I’ve never been a rainbow chaser and am a little disappointed in myself, if I’m honest, that I should have become one.
So beware the give away prints. It is too demoralising to find that the words of approbation are, in reality, words with no meaning at all.
I have to admit that this incident has hurt, there is no other way to look at it but I have to put it behind me.
REDEMPTION
To create work that no one sees is no fun at all. If giving away your creative product has the risk of denting your confidence to such an extent that you find it almost impossible to keep working, it also has the opportunity to reward you in the most surprising fashion.
A few years ago I gave away a framed print that was incredibly special to me. I sent it to a friend I’d met online, but whom I’d never met in person. We kept in touch over the years and found we shared similar sadnesses and similar hopes. We always hoped to meet, either on safari or by the river in front of her beautiful home in the USA. I gave it to her because this particular place had touched her heart just like it had mine and I hoped it would sooth some of her suffering and bring some joy. We shared such personal, private stories of loss and fear and we provided each other with hope and laughter as well.
She died a few months ago.
I have to admit that I was surprised at the strength of my grief for someone I had never met physically, but whose loss felt like an open wound. I reached out to her devastated husband and received the most beautiful reply which I quote just a tiny bit of here.
“I wanted you to know that a thousand times each day we sat below your print hanging on our wall facing the sea. It kept our memories alive and kept our dreams for adventure a reality. I will be always in your debt for this present.”
For every rejection, real or imagined, there is the knowledge of this bigger, more important thing. That you made a difference to someone and even if it is only the once, it is enough and more than enough.
Alone
Silas